Since the beginning of this blog, I’ve been pretty upfront that I write about the (many) mistakes I make and the near constant searching for solutions to my problems. This strategy has left me with nearly endless ideas for content as I am constantly trying to overcome challenges and correct mistakes that I’ve made and when I offer advice, it comes from a sincere place of someone who has walked the road of disappointment and went looking for answers. Over the last month, however, this site has been nearly dead and blogs have hit a screeching halt. Not because I suddenly became perfect, far from it, but because my imperfections became too many.
Despite doing my best to write, I am at my core a speaker. It’s what I enjoy the most and do the best. For the last few months, I’ve engaged in contact training with a national seminar company and I’ve been busy. In the last month, incredibly so. Between speaking, traveling and preparing to speak and travel, a lot of my good habits slipped by the wayside and this includes writing.
During this time of extreme chaos when everything is falling apart, I’ve learned a few things worth sharing. They include:
Shame Is A Useless Emotion
The first week that I didn’t put out a newsletter, I felt pretty awful about it. The shame of not coming through on a commitment almost froze me. In fact, it did and it kept me from coming back to it. I think that there is very real place in the world for remorse and when we let people down, we should feel something about it, but shame is a different animal and it can keep us from being our very best. Getting words on screen today is helping understand just how much time I’ve wasted to this useless emotion.
Doing What You Love Isn’t Easy
One of the things that have been most difficult for me to grasp is that doing what I love isn’t easy. I love to speak and I love to train. I would do it all day for free, but doing it comes with drawbacks. Five cities in five days. Six hours of training followed by four-hour drives to another hotel. Doing what we love isn’t easy and somethings slide sometimes. I’ve learned that it’s ok, as long as I pick it back up. Letting it slide came with some shame, but knowing that when I pick it up, I’ll be stronger than before gives me hope.
What Got Me Here, Won’t Keep Me Here
The reason I started writing blog posts, to begin with, was two-fold. I had something to say, and I wanted to build an audience. I still have a lot to say, and I still want to build an audience, I just have to manage myself to get it all done. I came into this with a high level of energy and discipline. It’s been tested and it needs to improve. The good news is that knowing that is the first step towards solving the problem. I had the skills to get here, but if I want to stay, I have to keep growing and getting better, and that’s the challenge I’m working on today.
From the beginning, I’ve been upfront that I write to solve my own problems. Finding some success has given me a whole new set of more interesting problems to work out, now I just have to grow into the skills to write about them.